[If he approves or disapproves of this choice, he doesn't show it, head down toward the menu so he doesn't have to look Idia in the face.]
I do feel like I owe it to you, after inadvertently sending Envy your way. I am sorry about him, by the way, he gets very protective. But that's no excuse for threats.
[He hadn't meant to start with that, but he's also nervous and he wanted to make sure he told Idia he was sorry for spilling these beans to Envy. It was his fault, even if Envy is the only one responsible for his behavior after that.]
And even though it's far too late for a first impression, I'd like to make a good impression none the less.
[Lack of eye contact does NOT bother him, in fact it sets him a bit more at ease (like, .5% so- negligible). But he does glance up in spite of better judgement because--]
Was that-- did you say something to him? I think I skipped a screen.
[Those texts were absolutely a mystery to him. Now it's even more of a mystery since Nanami is somehow involved? That's-- hm. Alright.]
Yeah, uh, a new first impression sounds good by me, too. Please delete all of it from your mind, actually.
[Being literally in the palm of Nanami's hand is sure an experience, isn't it? Looks like he and Seras have another thing in common when it comes to him!!]
I was the one who told him about Azul's... interest... in you.
[He doesn't know quite how to put that. He doesn't like thinking that Azul has a crush on this man. Plus the word 'crush' isn't common in his vocabulary and he doesn't feel comfortable saying it in general.]
It wasn't appropriate at all. I let my own jealousy get the best of me, I'm sorry.
[He doesn't get to say more because their waiter comes in with water for them looking for drink orders. Nanami orders something non-alcoholic and returns his full attention to the menu. Hopefully Idia doesn't have time to process the 'I was jealous' part of that sentence.]
[Idia bursts into a fit of coughing, face turning bright red from the effort and also how fucking embarrassing it is to choke on your own spit. After a second, he talks over the top of his fist, hovering in front of his mouth to preserve some dignity and remain passingly polite.]
His [--cough--] what?
[A nervous intonation, like, come again? There are implications to these things, Nanami. Surely that's not what he means, but being someone that has had a 2-year-long crush (not that he'd call it that- he and Nanami have another similarity and it's shying away from that word) on Azul Ashengrotto it's hard to trim apart the association.
That word "jealousy" doesn't go over his head. Just gets lodged at the back of it for when he's able to hear and register it properly. Slumbering for now.
Idia's so pre-occupied with appearing normal that he forgets to use his "oh, no water for me" script. In fact, anything sounds pretty good right about now. The second the waiter is out of the way he takes a hasty sip.]
[Nanami is going to pointedly ignore that he may have just spilled the beans AGAIN to someone else. He thought Envy had told Idia about Azul's feelings and yet here he is, making it more complicated rather than less. He takes a sip of his own water and finally looks up at Idia. He's not making eye contact, but he is at least talking in his general direction.]
The point of asking you here was to get to know you better. Two people that I love speak very well of you and while we didn't get off to the best start, there may be more we have in common than I thought. I would like to be on at least civil terms with you, if not friendly ones.
[That's-- okay. Idia's white-knuckling the napkin in his hand but with that glance, he's setting it down against the table. Patting the corner as it flops out of place so it lays flat. He can avoid whatever that implication was for now just to make this dinner tolerable.]
Love, huh...
[Kind of a dramatic word, right? Azul said he'd only been here for, what, half a year? Love is already a frankly delusional concept, but that kind of turnaround is speedy. Some people are just like that, though, thinking they know better than the chemicals running rampant in their brain making them do stupid shit like-- Well. Like whatever this is, he guesses.
Idia sighs, taking another sip of his water just to give his hands something else to do. When he sets it back down, he's just cradling it in his hands against the table, thumbing against the condensation.]
Geez... you know I don't hate you, right? You're fine, you got me out of a pinch, it's whatever... Like, everyone seems to think I've got some problem. People I don't know think a lot about me for some reason, which is weird because it has nothing to do with anything that actually matters about me. It's not like anyone's flaming me for being able to out-hack them or make them ragequit in Realm of Peacecraft. Like, I don't even-- uh-- [Realizing himself, Idia presses his lips together. Glances away.] Sorry for the infodump. Don't care didn't ask, I get it.
[They don't even have complimentary bread yet and he's already shoving his foot in his mouth.]
I, uh, I read that people like the Cherries Jubilee.
I am as surprised as anyone else, I never really saw myself falling in love. But my circumstances have changed significantly since death, and I'm trying to embrace the change. I don't know if the me of a year ago would be in a place like this having this conversation the way the me now is.
[He lets Idia talk, trying not to get too lost in the details he doesn't understand. It's strange to hear this in terms of Idia not hating him, since he doesn't hate Idia either. He's just... worried, and insecure about his own position in things.]
I asked you here to talk, I do want to hear what you have to say, even if I don't entirely understand it. And for the record, I don't hate you either. I feel like I don't understand you enough to feel much of anything, which is what I'm trying to change.
[A small lie, that he doesn't feel anything, but he's already brought up being jealous and it's not something either of them seems to want to talk about.]
I won't judge you for just having dessert for dinner, if that's what you want. First and foremost I want you to feel comfortable, at least, as much as you can around me.
[Idia is trying to just keep his mouth shut about what he thinks about all that. Everyone's always saying shit like that but it's just to make them look more humble about how good their love life is. "Oooh look at me with my massive biceps and sharp jawline, I never could have imagined I'd be in this situation! Drowning in Idia's favs is such a shock!" Give him a break. Death changes you, probably, but that much? Hm.]
I mean, if you want an FAQ I would've prepped one.
[He's never really had the problem of people not understanding his deal. It's not like Idia's wearing all the details of his life and thoughts on his sleeve, but he's not exactly a subtle person. So it's a change of pace.]
First question, am I ever comfortable? First answer, that's gonna be a shrug emoji from me.
[Inside his head Nanami is rolling around the wording for an actual question he wants to ask, which feels rude. But the way Idia talks is... annoying and difficult for him to follow. On top of making him feel old, he's just plain curious about it. But he can't seem to find the right way to ask, so he swallows it instead. All of his best salaryman skills are coming in handy here.]
You aren't comfortable in your own space?
[He isn't entirely surprised to hear that, but it makes him feel very bad for Idia in a way he wasn't expecting. It's immediately clear to him why Seras has been spending so much time with him, and he asks the next question with a tone that indicates he already knows the answer.]
I mean, yeah, but that doesn't count in the context.
[That... question gives him pause, though. Notable stillness. For a minute he almost looks normal, less like a caricature and more like someone giving earnest consideration to something. Idia thinks about it, how he can spend days with Seras and not feel tired, "people'd out", how he can say the most embarrassing thing at the top of his head and she'll laugh with him, that sweet tumbling laugh of hers falling into the space between them, warming it and keeping it-- well. Comfortable. The tips of his ears are a red and he's looking anywhere besides Nanami.]
I mean... that's different.
[He should know, right? How easy it is to be with her. How easy it is to--
It's simple. Seras makes even difficult things feel simple to navigate. Case in point.]
[Nanami sets his menu down, he knows what he wants and he can't keep using it as a distraction. They've already gotten too deep into this conversation now and they haven't even ordered their meals. But then, he always has been an efficient man. Idia's blush tells him just about everything he needs to know here, that and his somewhat evasive reply.]
When you care deeply for someone [Because he's not about to use the L word again here.] it does feel different. Spending time with them isn't a chore the way it is with other people.
[He stops because he suddenly sees where they might be alike. And that Idia is the him that wasn't forced into social compliance from a young age. But is that part of him (the one that doesn't particularly like or want to be around people) really make him attractive at all? Does it make either of them more attractive? He looks away, thinking too hard about this now.
Which is for the best because he doesn't notice at all that he has implied Idia cares deeply for Seras.]
[That-- he doesn't disagree but it's a lot to hear your own thoughts spoken out loud by someone else. Time with Seras is never a chore and that's something that he's been trying to understand, a realization he's turning around in his head constantly. Obviously he cares. The depth of that is hard to wrap his head around. But... not untrue.]
Yeah that... makes sense. [Glances up from fiddling with his napkin.] Introverts just get that sorta thing.
[Because, like, duh Nanami's in the same boat as him. It's a callout but a very obvious one, like pointing out that the circus is in town.]
[Nanami isn't going to deny it. He's absolutely spot on with that analysis. And it's probably for the best that the waiter comes back with Nanami's drink then and asks if they're ready to order. Nanami doesn't hesitate to order first, calm and certain of himself. It's years of practice at asserting himself this way, and it helps to overcome the other thoughts running through his head to have something to focus on.]
[He keeps his gaze fixed on his own glass while Idia orders, giving him one fewer set of eyes to worry about.]
I never really considered that introversion would be attractive to some people, but I suppose I should rethink that considering our circumstances. [He's still trying to find things they have in common that might attract the same people.]
[Idia's grateful for the interruption, even if it means having to order. He's thankfully prepared for this and follows his mental script to a T in spite of the terrors (Nanami isn't watching him, at least. Idia checks). Dessert order complete-- mission success! He can practically hear the victory noise after it's done! Heheh!
Immediately, though, they're back in awkward city.]
Ah... Attractive is kind of a stretch... Knowing what you're getting is kind of an appeal. A login bonus.
[It's not that he doesn't think it's a perk, especially knowing that he and Seras are on the same page when it comes to social battery.
Why the fuck is he talking about this? Why is he indulging this? Why does Heaven have this effect on him? Idia rotates his glass of water around in search of some half-dissolved truth capsule.]
Wait. [Sets his glass down with a thunk.] Are you speculating?
I'll admit that part of my reason for asking you here is to understand what makes us both so appealing to the same people. I didn't really think of us as being all that similar, and yes, I suppose I am speculating about it.
[He does look up at Idia and for a moment it's a dark look, full of emotions he's been keeping in check. The jealousy, the anger, the disgust. But the look is gone in a moment and he's back to his usual businesslike demeanor.
It doesn't help his mood that Idia seems to be reading him fairly accurately. He can't decide if he's upset by it or just accept that it's probably another reason they share interested parties.]
But I don't think either of us enjoys talking about that. Maybe you can tell me a little about what you like to do in your free time.
[Does Idia even have a job? Nanami can't really picture it, but it's the best way to phrase his question so he says it like he believes it.]
[oh. hm! very interesting. idia can't help but press his grin against the rim of his glass as he takes a drink.]
Heh. Can probably only speak for myself but [setting the glass down with a soft "thunk"] better not heheh~
[there's a level of smug confidence to idia right now that hasn't been present in the past. the intimidation factor doesn't really hit at this angle. he does, in fact, thrive when it comes to others being envious of him. like, yeah, of course.
the "both" does snag on his brain. what the fuck does that mean? but nanami is ultimately right. he super doesn't want to talk about this.
moving on--]
Uh game, mostly... I'm into all kinds-- PC, BG, MMORPG. [lots of fuckin letters] A p rich diet if I do say so. Heh, actually it's cool, Seras got pretty into 'em too. Started small with cozy games like Critter Crossroads -- super reliable, great parallel play -- but we've been getting into Mortal Kombat and--
[that grin of his is all earnestness now, slipping into something almost... fond. enthusiasm for being able to share his hobby is truly the link between his crushes, on top of a multitude of other that'll stay locked firmly in his head. idia's gestures become more animated as he goes on about his character picks, how seras is really picking it up, actually. that creme brule of his goes neglected as he gestures with his fork.]
[The confidence is a new kind of annoying and Nanami shifts back from his more open emotional stance to something that he would bring to a business meeting. It's almost an admission of defeat, but he's trying to keep his cool and not make this interaction worse, so it's more of a fall back move.]
[There isn't much room to interject once Idia gets to talking about something he's interested in. But this is what Nanami wanted, to hear about something he has real passion for. Only, it's all just gibberish for him. There's some chatter in there about Seras and how they're bonding over this, but Nanami can't be that jealous over what he doesn't understand. What does he even do with this? For the moment he's going to eat his dinner (duck breast with seasonal vegetables in a red wine sauce) and try to let the words wash over him.]
Don't forget your meal. [He manages to get in edgewise at one point.]
[Idia's not put off by this, someone used to needing a reminder to eat. The way he holds his utensils is detestable but it gives Nanami a brief reprieve from the onslaught of nonsense.]
So yeah, it's uh [Idia wipes at the corner of his mouth with the pad of his thumb.] sorta like that. Not a big deal.
[He's content to just go back to his meal but he gets this distinct feeling like he's being watched. That's probably just what it's like to have Seras at the back of his head, gesturing with her hands for him to say words, to at least try. Idia sighs lightly.]
I see. [He absolutely does not see. But he's also not interested in any further explanation.
Watching Idia hold utensils is throwing him off some, he isn't going to say anything because that would be rude, but he is staring somewhat intensely. There's definitely a part of him that resents their shared traits right now because he doesn't want to be thought of like this.
But he's been asked a question and he can latch onto that.]
I enjoy reading, and I've been cooking and learning to dance. I don't have a lot of time to myself still, I've been working more than I should. But there's a lot of things I want to do here, and people I want to be there for.
[He can hear it, the heavy sound of his voice as he realizes he's in the same rut he's been in before. Twice. Not that Idia would understand, that was part of a whole different lifetime for him. And the whole point of being here was to learn more about each other.]
I suppose I can't really escape my life no matter how dead I get.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I do feel like I owe it to you, after inadvertently sending Envy your way. I am sorry about him, by the way, he gets very protective. But that's no excuse for threats.
[He hadn't meant to start with that, but he's also nervous and he wanted to make sure he told Idia he was sorry for spilling these beans to Envy. It was his fault, even if Envy is the only one responsible for his behavior after that.]
And even though it's far too late for a first impression, I'd like to make a good impression none the less.
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Was that-- did you say something to him? I think I skipped a screen.
[Those texts were absolutely a mystery to him. Now it's even more of a mystery since Nanami is somehow involved? That's-- hm. Alright.]
Yeah, uh, a new first impression sounds good by me, too. Please delete all of it from your mind, actually.
[Being literally in the palm of Nanami's hand is sure an experience, isn't it? Looks like he and Seras have another thing in common when it comes to him!!]
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[He doesn't know quite how to put that. He doesn't like thinking that Azul has a crush on this man. Plus the word 'crush' isn't common in his vocabulary and he doesn't feel comfortable saying it in general.]
It wasn't appropriate at all. I let my own jealousy get the best of me, I'm sorry.
[He doesn't get to say more because their waiter comes in with water for them looking for drink orders. Nanami orders something non-alcoholic and returns his full attention to the menu. Hopefully Idia doesn't have time to process the 'I was jealous' part of that sentence.]
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His [--cough--] what?
[A nervous intonation, like, come again? There are implications to these things, Nanami. Surely that's not what he means, but being someone that has had a 2-year-long crush (not that he'd call it that- he and Nanami have another similarity and it's shying away from that word) on Azul Ashengrotto it's hard to trim apart the association.
That word "jealousy" doesn't go over his head. Just gets lodged at the back of it for when he's able to hear and register it properly. Slumbering for now.
Idia's so pre-occupied with appearing normal that he forgets to use his "oh, no water for me" script. In fact, anything sounds pretty good right about now. The second the waiter is out of the way he takes a hasty sip.]
no subject
The point of asking you here was to get to know you better. Two people that I love speak very well of you and while we didn't get off to the best start, there may be more we have in common than I thought. I would like to be on at least civil terms with you, if not friendly ones.
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Love, huh...
[Kind of a dramatic word, right? Azul said he'd only been here for, what, half a year? Love is already a frankly delusional concept, but that kind of turnaround is speedy. Some people are just like that, though, thinking they know better than the chemicals running rampant in their brain making them do stupid shit like-- Well. Like whatever this is, he guesses.
Idia sighs, taking another sip of his water just to give his hands something else to do. When he sets it back down, he's just cradling it in his hands against the table, thumbing against the condensation.]
Geez... you know I don't hate you, right? You're fine, you got me out of a pinch, it's whatever... Like, everyone seems to think I've got some problem. People I don't know think a lot about me for some reason, which is weird because it has nothing to do with anything that actually matters about me. It's not like anyone's flaming me for being able to out-hack them or make them ragequit in Realm of Peacecraft. Like, I don't even-- uh-- [Realizing himself, Idia presses his lips together. Glances away.] Sorry for the infodump. Don't care didn't ask, I get it.
[They don't even have complimentary bread yet and he's already shoving his foot in his mouth.]
I, uh, I read that people like the Cherries Jubilee.
no subject
[He lets Idia talk, trying not to get too lost in the details he doesn't understand. It's strange to hear this in terms of Idia not hating him, since he doesn't hate Idia either. He's just... worried, and insecure about his own position in things.]
I asked you here to talk, I do want to hear what you have to say, even if I don't entirely understand it. And for the record, I don't hate you either. I feel like I don't understand you enough to feel much of anything, which is what I'm trying to change.
[A small lie, that he doesn't feel anything, but he's already brought up being jealous and it's not something either of them seems to want to talk about.]
I won't judge you for just having dessert for dinner, if that's what you want. First and foremost I want you to feel comfortable, at least, as much as you can around me.
no subject
I mean, if you want an FAQ I would've prepped one.
[He's never really had the problem of people not understanding his deal. It's not like Idia's wearing all the details of his life and thoughts on his sleeve, but he's not exactly a subtle person. So it's a change of pace.]
First question, am I ever comfortable? First answer, that's gonna be a shrug emoji from me.
no subject
You aren't comfortable in your own space?
[He isn't entirely surprised to hear that, but it makes him feel very bad for Idia in a way he wasn't expecting. It's immediately clear to him why Seras has been spending so much time with him, and he asks the next question with a tone that indicates he already knows the answer.]
Are you comfortable around Seras?
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[That... question gives him pause, though. Notable stillness. For a minute he almost looks normal, less like a caricature and more like someone giving earnest consideration to something. Idia thinks about it, how he can spend days with Seras and not feel tired, "people'd out", how he can say the most embarrassing thing at the top of his head and she'll laugh with him, that sweet tumbling laugh of hers falling into the space between them, warming it and keeping it-- well. Comfortable. The tips of his ears are a red and he's looking anywhere besides Nanami.]
I mean... that's different.
[He should know, right? How easy it is to be with her. How easy it is to--
It's simple. Seras makes even difficult things feel simple to navigate. Case in point.]
no subject
When you care deeply for someone [Because he's not about to use the L word again here.] it does feel different. Spending time with them isn't a chore the way it is with other people.
[He stops because he suddenly sees where they might be alike. And that Idia is the him that wasn't forced into social compliance from a young age. But is that part of him (the one that doesn't particularly like or want to be around people) really make him attractive at all? Does it make either of them more attractive? He looks away, thinking too hard about this now.
Which is for the best because he doesn't notice at all that he has implied Idia cares deeply for Seras.]
no subject
Yeah that... makes sense. [Glances up from fiddling with his napkin.] Introverts just get that sorta thing.
[Because, like, duh Nanami's in the same boat as him. It's a callout but a very obvious one, like pointing out that the circus is in town.]
no subject
[Nanami isn't going to deny it. He's absolutely spot on with that analysis. And it's probably for the best that the waiter comes back with Nanami's drink then and asks if they're ready to order. Nanami doesn't hesitate to order first, calm and certain of himself. It's years of practice at asserting himself this way, and it helps to overcome the other thoughts running through his head to have something to focus on.]
[He keeps his gaze fixed on his own glass while Idia orders, giving him one fewer set of eyes to worry about.]
I never really considered that introversion would be attractive to some people, but I suppose I should rethink that considering our circumstances. [He's still trying to find things they have in common that might attract the same people.]
no subject
Immediately, though, they're back in awkward city.]
Ah... Attractive is kind of a stretch... Knowing what you're getting is kind of an appeal. A login bonus.
[It's not that he doesn't think it's a perk, especially knowing that he and Seras are on the same page when it comes to social battery.
Why the fuck is he talking about this? Why is he indulging this? Why does Heaven have this effect on him? Idia rotates his glass of water around in search of some half-dissolved truth capsule.]
Wait. [Sets his glass down with a thunk.] Are you speculating?
no subject
[He does look up at Idia and for a moment it's a dark look, full of emotions he's been keeping in check. The jealousy, the anger, the disgust. But the look is gone in a moment and he's back to his usual businesslike demeanor.
It doesn't help his mood that Idia seems to be reading him fairly accurately. He can't decide if he's upset by it or just accept that it's probably another reason they share interested parties.]
But I don't think either of us enjoys talking about that. Maybe you can tell me a little about what you like to do in your free time.
[Does Idia even have a job? Nanami can't really picture it, but it's the best way to phrase his question so he says it like he believes it.]
no subject
Heh. Can probably only speak for myself but [setting the glass down with a soft "thunk"] better not heheh~
[there's a level of smug confidence to idia right now that hasn't been present in the past. the intimidation factor doesn't really hit at this angle. he does, in fact, thrive when it comes to others being envious of him. like, yeah, of course.
the "both" does snag on his brain. what the fuck does that mean? but nanami is ultimately right. he super doesn't want to talk about this.
moving on--]
Uh game, mostly... I'm into all kinds-- PC, BG, MMORPG. [lots of fuckin letters] A p rich diet if I do say so. Heh, actually it's cool, Seras got pretty into 'em too. Started small with cozy games like Critter Crossroads -- super reliable, great parallel play -- but we've been getting into Mortal Kombat and--
[that grin of his is all earnestness now, slipping into something almost... fond. enthusiasm for being able to share his hobby is truly the link between his crushes, on top of a multitude of other that'll stay locked firmly in his head. idia's gestures become more animated as he goes on about his character picks, how seras is really picking it up, actually. that creme brule of his goes neglected as he gestures with his fork.]
no subject
[There isn't much room to interject once Idia gets to talking about something he's interested in. But this is what Nanami wanted, to hear about something he has real passion for. Only, it's all just gibberish for him. There's some chatter in there about Seras and how they're bonding over this, but Nanami can't be that jealous over what he doesn't understand. What does he even do with this? For the moment he's going to eat his dinner (duck breast with seasonal vegetables in a red wine sauce) and try to let the words wash over him.]
Don't forget your meal. [He manages to get in edgewise at one point.]
no subject
[Idia's not put off by this, someone used to needing a reminder to eat. The way he holds his utensils is detestable but it gives Nanami a brief reprieve from the onslaught of nonsense.]
So yeah, it's uh [Idia wipes at the corner of his mouth with the pad of his thumb.] sorta like that. Not a big deal.
[He's content to just go back to his meal but he gets this distinct feeling like he's being watched. That's probably just what it's like to have Seras at the back of his head, gesturing with her hands for him to say words, to at least try. Idia sighs lightly.]
You've got hobbies, right?
[Spreadsheets?]
no subject
Watching Idia hold utensils is throwing him off some, he isn't going to say anything because that would be rude, but he is staring somewhat intensely. There's definitely a part of him that resents their shared traits right now because he doesn't want to be thought of like this.
But he's been asked a question and he can latch onto that.]
I enjoy reading, and I've been cooking and learning to dance. I don't have a lot of time to myself still, I've been working more than I should. But there's a lot of things I want to do here, and people I want to be there for.
[He can hear it, the heavy sound of his voice as he realizes he's in the same rut he's been in before. Twice. Not that Idia would understand, that was part of a whole different lifetime for him. And the whole point of being here was to learn more about each other.]
I suppose I can't really escape my life no matter how dead I get.